i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
