We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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