is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
