hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
