you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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