Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
