bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
