She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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