If i come over, it means nothing
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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