Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
