Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
