Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
