Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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