is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
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Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i would one night stand the shit outta him
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
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How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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