I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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