What did we do last night that was yellow?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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