just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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