OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
