Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
even my farts smell like vagina
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize