Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
