a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
