guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
