Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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