Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
