we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
