He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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