just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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