You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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