Sacagawea was the original milf.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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