i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
