you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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