dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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