; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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