Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
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I have no recollection of sleep choking you
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
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Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
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