things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
