How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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