Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
