I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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