If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
