Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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