If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
