She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
