I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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