question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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