not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
