That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
did i just pee glitter
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
