Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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