loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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