i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
