my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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