Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
