She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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