Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
