I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
