im about as happy as oj after his trial
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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