Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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