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my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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