Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
