How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
