Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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