is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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