Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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