Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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