i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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