We won't sleep together?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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