3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
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