she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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