My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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