ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm just crazy horny about you
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
