Im at strip club and am horny
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
