did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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