Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
