i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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