I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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